July 30, 2007

Today I had my 6th radiation treatment, and they took a quick scan and blood test. I was still in and out of the office in under 40 minutes! Since last week, I’ve been feeling better and having more energy. Once we got the steroid dosage correct, most of my nauseau, headaches and all of the vomitting went away. I’m tired most of the time, and I don’t have near the energy that I normally have…but that is expected. I can function at a normal level as long as I rest. The steroids that I’m on for swelling have made it difficult to sleep at night, especially after they doubled the dose. Last Thursday I started taking something to help me sleep, and it made a huge difference. Although, last night I scared Mark and Whitney before I went to bed because they said I was groggy, stumbling around and not understanding them. I don’t remember any of this, but I trust Mark to be honest. He called the doctor because he was worried, and they told him the sleeping pill would cause the symptoms. They put me in bed and I slept until morning. When I woke up, I felt great, so it must have been the sleeping pill. Mark was worried, but he did a great job of taking care of me. We sat and talked about the incident this morning, and I saw the worry in his eyes. I won’t be taking my sleeping pill anymore until I’m ready to fall into bed.

We had a great weekend (without treatment) around our family. This was Whitney’s last weekend at home, and she spent extra time with us to work around the house and get ice cream together. We will really miss her when she moves out, but we’re very excited about her future marriage and life with Nick. He’s going to make a great addition to our family, too!

This will be a busy week, too. I see Dr. Aggarwal tomorrow to learn if I’ll still have chemotherapy or try something else, and Mark is going with me. On Thursday, Whitney and I are getting her bridal portraits taken, and we’ll include a few of the two of us before my hair falls out! This weekend is Women of Faith, which I hope to attend as much as possible. Then Sunday we have a McBride shower for Whitney, and Mark and I will celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary.

I attended the wedding of my cousin, Jean Seila, on Saturday, and it was beautiful. The minister talked about the passion, commitment and perserverance of marriage as he challenged the couple. After 12 years of marriage to Mark, I am honestly more in love with him than the first day we met (and I fell pretty fast!). He is a wonderful husband, father, friend, caregiver, and provider for all of us, but he always makes me feel special no matter what he’s going through. People have told me that they see a purpose in my eyes and a will to survive…that I’m a fighter. That will comes from Mark. When we first learned that I had cancer in 2003, he told me not to stop being fiesty now, and I’ve never forgotten that. What you see in my eyes, besides my obvious love of God and life, is the love of a wonderful man. He’s my strength every day, and I’m the luckiest girl in the world to be his wife.

I love you, Mark. Happy Anniversary on Sunday. I can’t wait for dinner at the Cork-n-Cleaver with you!

Sandy

July 26, 2007

I’ve now had 4 radiation treatments to my whole brain, and this is much tougher than I thought it would be. My body is reacting to this fight severly, which we didn’t expect. Yesterday I started throwing up everything that I ate or drank, so I talked with the doctor after my treatment in the morning. They increased my dosage of steroids to keep swelling down in my brain because they believe this is causing the vomitting too. It took until after 5:00 to get something to stay down in my stomach, but when I finally got the medicine to stay I started feeling a little better. I haven’t thrown up any more since last night, and I’m trying really hard to keep all the medicine down and eat something to keep it there. I’m on the steroid for swelling, an antacid to protect my stomach from the steroid, and I’ve still got cough medicine from earlier this year when I had trouble.

My head is pounding no matter what I take, so it’s been really hard for me to function normally. I had great plans to help Mark at the store and keep doing work from home this next two weeks, but those have been on hold. Today, I’m at my mom’s house near Markle just trying to keep my head from driving me crazy. The girls are here too, and we finally got them to lay down and take a nap. This ordeal has been really hard on them, and I’m sure they understand that I’m sick, but we don’t know how it affects them from there. Their lives and daily routines have been completely turned upside down, so please remember them in your prayers and cards.

We’re still fighting this battle and very encouraged by your words and prayers. I’ve learned to allow others to be our stretcher-bearers sometimes, and I’m grateful that God still acts and moves when others take on this responsibility.

God answered a huge prayer of mine this week! I still had 13 tickets to sell for the Women of Faith conference in Fort Wayne on August 3-4, and a dear friend from my office called to purchase all of them from me. I have been very worried about not selling the tickets because we have already paid for them, so I’ve been asking God to help. She will be offering the tickets to ladies at her church in Fort Wayne, so they can be blessed by the event, too. I’m not sure today if I’ll get to attend the whole conference like I planned, but I hope to be there for some of it. It truly is a wonderful experience of worship and praise with so many God-filled women in one place. Plus, I get to go with my mom, sister, daughter and other friends.

Thanks for everything you do to lift us up. We love you all.

Sandy

July 24, 2007

I had my first radiation treatment yesterday afternoon, and it went really well. It’s a painless, needless procedure, so I couldn’t have it any better!!! PTL. (God knows that I’m very tired of needles.) The treatment only takes 5 minutes, and the whole visit can get done in 30, so it’s not bad.

They created a mask of my whole head that fits tightly to guide the radiation field. That is put on my face and I lay in a big machine for the treatment from left to right in my brain. This will take place 10 times in the next two weeks, and then we’ll repeat the scans to see what things look like. We may still be having a cyber knife spot treatment to get the remaining tumor after this radiation. I’ll also lose my hair after this radiation is over, so Mark is already planning to get me a new wig. (He never liked the one that I had 3 years ago, and we want something nicer for Whitney’s wedding.)

Whitney and I are going to have her bridal potraits taken before I lose my hair, so we can have some pictures together. I’m really excited about this and looking forward to this special time next week.

So many people are asking to help us, that we’re overwhelmed and not sure how to answer. Please be patient as we talk through the ideas and thoughts. We’ll try to share with you how you can help, but we’re still in shock. Right now, we’re getting all the help we need with transportation to treatments from our family. We could probably use some meals over the next two weeks, but it would be best to call me or Mark and talk with us about where to bring them and what might work. Snacks and drinks for the kids would be helpful…easy stuff that little girls enjoy and are easy to take with us anywhere we go.

I’m not working for the next two weeks, but I’ll be doing some teaching from home on my computer to finish a class that I started with 13 students in July. I have always loved to teach, and having my class online makes it possible to finish the work without jeopardizing all the hard work my students have put in.

I’ll be having treatment today at 11:50, and most days it will be 10:10 a.m.

Thanks for your prayers and support. We have not lost hope that we will see a complete recovery from this tumor, and we are still trusting OUR BIG GOD to carry us.

July 21, 2007

Mark and I met with Dr. Lee, our radiation oncologist, yesterday afternoon to learn the results of the MRI and discuss treatment options. We did not get a good report from Dr. Lee, and it’s with great difficulty that I write this note.

Dr. Lee believes that the tumor they found on the left side of my brain is aggressive because it has swelling around it. Benign tumors don’t usually cause swelling. He’s also sure it’s agressive because it wasn’t there on the MRI I had done just 3 months ago. He showed us the pictures and we saw both sets to compare. The tumor is about 1.5 centimeters and it is on the top of my brain near the back left area. It appears to be right under my skull, but not in a good spot for surgery.

Since the tumor is aggressive, he recommended aggressive radiation treatment of my whole brain, which I’ll begin on Monday. There are 10 treatments that last over 2 weeks, so I’ll be going every day except weekends. This treatment is more aggressive than a spot treatment with the new cyber knife, but he didn’t want to risk missing other tumors that my be developing already in my brain. We may still have the spot treatment after the initial radiation is complete, but we won’t know that for a while. My hair will likely fall out (again) after the radiation treatment is over.

I also lost my driving priveleges because there is a high risk of having seizures with swelling in my brain. I’m on a steroid to prevent the swelling, and I have a very good chance of not having the seizures because there’s only one tumor so far, but we cannot risk it on driving. I’m going to need help getting to treatment and other appointments in the next two weeks, and my Mom has already offered to drive me to Fort Wayne as much as she can. Dr. Lee also recommended that I start looking into filing for disability and seriously consider whether I should keep working.

The worst news was that he doesn’t offer much hope for long-term survival. People who have multiple tumors in the brain are given 3-4 months to live, even with treatment. People with one tumor, like mine, should have longer, but that could be as short as 6 months to 1.5 years. He told us to keep up our hope because my symptoms have always responded well to aggressive treatment and we caught this early. He encouraged me to plan my life six months at a time, and he told us stories of patients who’ve lasted the 5 years or longer to give us hope. My good friend, Sally Lewellen, has been through aggressive cancer and brain radiation with multiple tumors, and she’s still here after 1.5 years…with her driving priveleges restored. PTL! (She’s been a great source of strength for me in the past few months.)

Mark and I are in shock right now, and we’re trying to tell our family and friends the news. We told our girls last night, and we’re not sure what they understand for now. They could tell something was wrong, so we decided to be honest but not give them too much fear. Please don’t mention the timeframe (or lack of it) to them. We’ve decided that I should take the next two weeks to concentrate on my treatment, so I won’t return to work full time for now. I haven’t met with my boss yet, but she’s been very supportive and will continue to help meet my needs. Honestly, I may try to work some hours each week just to keep my sanity. I’m really afraid that if I stop living, then I’ll start dying. And that’s not my style. I’m very lucky to work with people who care about me and my family so much, so we’ll make this work too.

Please, please, please pray for our family and for complete healing. We haven’t given up hope, and I intend to fight this battle with all the strength that I have. For the first time in my life, though, my strength alone (and Mark’s) won’t be enough. We need God’s hand in our lives more than ever, and I’ve already got an overwhelming sense of peace from Him that this is under his control too. I can’t deny being scared and shocked at this news, but I’ll never doubt God’s hand upon my life.

I’ll try to keep this site updated with more news, and thank you for your contined support through comments, prayers, e-mails and calls. Don’t ever hesitate to contact us if you’d like to talk with us. Mark’s still working at the store in Markle, and I’ll be joining him quite a bit so we can spend more time together. I’ve been telling him that he needed more help to get all of his ideas going to increase sales, and I guess now I have to prove my words!

July 17, 2007

We will meet with Dr. Tony Lee on Friday at 2:30. He is the radiation oncologist that will help us determine my treatment options.

July 17, 2007

We did not get good news from Dr. Aggarwal yesterday. She called me at work to let me know that the MRI showed a small tumor in the left side of my brain with some swelling around it. The tumor is about 1.5 centimeters in size. She’s not absolutely sure that it comes from the breast cancer, but she suspects this is the cause.

She told me that chemotherapy won’t treat a brain tumor because something in the brain blocks the medicine. Our options right now are to see my radiation oncologist, Dr. Tony Lee to discuss his ideas, or go to Indianapolis for a second opinion. Dr. Aggarwal has talked to us about the Indianapolis doctor before when she wasn’t sure what was happening with my left eye and symptoms in February. We didn’t go to see her then because things started getting better.

Mark and I have decided to talk with Dr. Lee and Dr. Aggarwal in more detail before making any other decisions. We weren’t given much information about this new tumor, so we have a lot of questions. We will probably see Dr. Lee next week, and I already have an appointment with Dr. Aggarwal the week after that. Dr. Aggarwal prescribed a small dose of a steroid for me to begin taking, and I’m still taking the medicine that keeps me from coughing.

We are so blessed to have a caring and supportive church family. As soon as word got out yesterday that I had received this news, all of the ministers from our church went to visit with Mark at the hardware store. He was really struggling with staying there at work when this news was so devastating, and they offered to finish up the day so he could come home. Whitney convinced me to leave work after we got the news, too, so we all gathered at home late in the afternoon.

I am really scared about this new diagnosis, but I still trust God to carry me and my family through whatever we will face. This morning I found a verse in Psalms that spoke to my fears:

But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him,

on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,

to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.

Psalms 133:18-19

I’m sure I’ll begin treatment after we talk with the doctors, and they may want to run more tests that sound scary (spinal tap). It has been hard for me to pray while I digest and deal with this news, so please lift us up in your prayers.

Thank you.

Sandy

July 16, 2007

I had treatment last week on Tuesday, and it went well. I told Dr. Aggarwal that I had been feeling nauseous several times, so she ordered some blood tests and an MRI (scan) of the brain to look for possible causes. I got the blood tests back on Thursday, and they were all negative for problems. The MRI was done on Thursday morning, and I’m currently waiting on results from the doctor’s office. Hopefully, these will come today (Monday). I haven’t been too worried about these tests because I honestly believe that I may have had a virus or some digestive problems. With my diagnosis, though, we cannot ignore anything. Dr. Aggarwal is always very quick to order tests if she’s worried about something. The brain scans are the scariest so far because the most likely place for my cancer to spread is the brain.

I’ll provide an update when I get the results. Thanks for your prayers and support.

 Sandy

July 9, 2007

If you’re reading this post, then I need your help with something. I stepped out on faith last year and purchased 30 tickets for the Fort Wayne Women of Faith conference, which is August 3-4 this summer. Each ticket cost me $119, which I have already paid for. So far, I’ve only sold 11 of the tickets, and I’m getting worried. Our seats are in section 220, rows 7-9, so they’re better seats than we’ve ever had. I’m not sure why there hasn’t been a better response…last year I sold almost 50 tickets to ladies just at our church. If you know of anyone who would like to attend this fabulous conference, please have them contact me for their ticket(s). The package includes the pre-session on Friday and the full conference, plus lunch tickets on Friday and Saturday. For more information about the conference, you can go to http://www.womenoffaith.com/conferences/ftwayne/. If you have any other questions, please contact me by email at sschaufe@yahoo.com or call me at home. Thanks for your prayers on this matter.

I went back to church camp last week…Lake James Christian Assembly…with Shelby, and we had a great time! When I was her age going to camp was the best thing I got to do all summer, except for family vacations. I always loved spending the week at Lake James, and we’ve tried to instill this love of camp in our girls. Whitney enjoyed going when she was younger, but she would have been mortified to have me go with her. Shelby, on the other hand, is much more shy and reserved than her older sister. She enjoyed having me there, and it was a great time to bond together. I was the dorm mom to four 2nd and 3rd grade girls, plus I was a team leader for 14 of the kids. It was a privilege to spend so much time with the kids and see their enthusiasm for life and for Jesus. I don’t think I would have taken the time to go if Mark wasn’t busy with the store and my health was better. I’m grateful that I have the chance to reprioritize my life and do these types of activities with my kids.

I have another Herceptin treatment and appointment with Dr. Aggarwal tomorrow morning. There shouldn’t be any suprises at this appointment because I’ve been feeling great.

Sandy